BLOODHOUND GANG - "i wish i was queer so i could get chicks" Tablature

Artist: Bloodhound Gang
Song: I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks( Album one fierce beer coaster)
Tabbed by: John Leadman


Pretty funny song! All just basic power chords. Play the verses
palm-muted and use only downstrokes. Strum the chorus normally.
That's all you need to know. Enjoy!



CHORDS:


Bb5 (x13xxx) E5 (x79xxx)
A5 (x02xxx) Eb5 (x68xxx)
B5 (x24xxx) C#5 (x46xxx)



INTRO:

[spoken:]
If your ass is a Chinese restaurant I'll have the poo-poo platter


VERSE 1:

Bb5 A5 B5 C#5 E5 B5
My friend Jerry Vandergrift kissed me in Home Ec. class

A5 B5 C#5
Later in the afternoon some jarheads in the locker room kicked my ass

B5 A5 B5 E5
I said guys I'm like you I like Monster Trucks too

Eb5 C#5 A5
Wanna see how many push-ups I can do?

B5 [stop]
I just wish I was queer so I could get


CHORUS:

E5
Chicks dig guys that are

B5
Queer guys that don't dig

E5 B5
Chicks that don't dig guys like me

A5
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly


VERSE 2:

A5 B5 C#5 E5 B5
But if I were handsome just imagine how great it would be

A5 B5 C#5
Incognito as a gay though but not actually that way though pseudo homo phony

B5 A5 B5 E5
Maybe it's a stupid theory or maybe just stupidity

Eb5 C#5 A5
But if I was a queerbee in the fashion industry

B5 C#5
Scoring with a super model would be easy


VERSE 3:

A5 B5
Cause 'super model' means voluptuous but also is synonomous with

C#5 E5 B5
'super dumb'

A5 B5
Ya see I'd be a good listener so she'd treat me like a sister and
C#5 B5
soon I'd become

A5 B5 E5
That trusted friend that cares that rubs her back and braids her hair

Eb5 C#5 A5
No it wouldn't be a week before I'm in her underwear

B5 [stop]
I wish I was queer so I could get


CHORUS:

E5
Chicks dig guys that are

B5
Queer guys that don't dig

E5 B5
Chicks that don't dig guys like me

A5
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly


VERSE 4: [play like Verse 3]

Doesn't matter what I'm packin' in my denim it's what's in my genes
The only smoked meat the only sausage I would eat is made by Jimmy Dean
See I'm not to keen on the smell of Vaseline
No I'm not Princess Di and I don't wanna be a queen
I wish I was queer so I could get


BRIDGE:

E5 C#5 C#5 B5 A5 Bb5 B5 B5 A5 C#5 Eb5
Chicks
E5 C#5 C#5 B5 A5 Bb5 B5 B5 A5 C#5 Eb5


VERSE 5: [play like Verse 3]

Anyway if I were gay I'd have to change my name to Dirk or Lewis
Hang out with my mom's hair stylist his name is Kip he's got a lisp
he talks like this
And wear my mother's lingerie learn the songs of Broadway
And appreciate Depeche Mode and avant garde ballet
I wish I was queer so I could get


OUTRO:

C#5
Chicks dig guys that are

B5
Queer guys that don't dig

C#5
Chicks dig guys that are

E5 B5
Queer guys that don't dig

C#5
Chicks dig guys that are

B5
Queer guys that don't dig

C#5 E5
Chicks that don't dig guys like me

B5 C#5
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly

B5
And I don't shave my heiny

C#5
Don't shave my heiny

E5 B5 C#5
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly

B5
And I don't shave my heiny

C#5
Don't shave my heiny

E5 B5 C#5
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly

B5
And I don't shave my heiny

C#5
Don't shave my heiny

E5 B5 C#5
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly